last semester i submitted 2 poems to "Headwaters," the UNC-A lit. magazine. i was actually satisfied with these...one about the Loire River that i wrote here, and one i wrote a few years back about me and a friend exploring in the woods...i won't go into detail. anyway, to get to the point, i received pretty recently a very impersonal email about how they "regret to inform me" and that there "wasn't enough space" and to continue my "fine" writing. ok one, don't bullshit me and say it was a space problem and "fine writing?" FINE?! Let me tell you some things that are "fine:" my eye doctor appointments, the habitual response to "how was your day at school," the half-assed dinners that i make myself, how i slept last night, and a china plate that i would love to smash on the floor right now. those poems were me, flat on the paper, and they just crumbled up all my sentiments and put it in the damn trash b/c they're americans and don't recycle....they meant something to me and i was even a bit proud of them...do you know how hard it is for me to satisfy myself with what i write? pretty damn hard...so, i feel pretty shitty...kind of on the level of cool, the one thing that i think i'm good at, i'm actually not. not even for a stupid, not-even-legit college magazine. i'm glad i didnt submit the lyrics to elizabeth's song that i wrote or it would be worse. anyway, yes, i am complaining but i have a right to. i guess i don't wanna write this blog anymore either. Adieu to all, i suppose.

p.s. i leave for spain and morocco on friday. woo.